The Virus that changed the country

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Elderly Degenerate Immune Syndrome (EDIS3610)

Updated on Friday, April 13, 3610 / 6:31am / US News

Since the first reported case of Elderly Degenerate Immune Syndrome (EDIS3610) on January 21, 3610, the disease has spread rapidly throughout all 57 U.S. states. From January 21 through February 1, 3610, a total of 101 cases of EDIS3610 were diagnosed in six U.S. states, and by early March, transmission of EDIS3610 had accelerated exponentially. Despite strict lockdowns enforced nationwide, cases have swiftly increased, with current numbers tallying 1,130,631. Due to the rapid degeneration caused by the disease, particularly in adults over the age of 40, death tolls have been rising, with current counts topping 800,000.

In light of the high death toll among adults over 40, hundreds of thousands of children and youth have been left parentless, and are being housed in government funded facilities. These facilities, many of which reside on former military bases, are compromised of boarding and educational facilities.

In addition to the concerns of youth, issues have arisen within countless industries. In a report filed on April 11, 3610 by the CDC, approximately 19 percent of the workforce, mostly comprised of those aged 40+, EDIS3610s most susceptible victims, has been eradicated by the disease. Kamika Martin, a health care worker in New York State, one of the disease hotspots, spoke to US News. “It has been unbelievably difficult, and there are fewer of us [doctors and nurses] every day. Some of the most experienced members of our team are gone.” When asked what advice she has for the public, Martin responded, “Stay home, if you can. Wash your hands. Remain in your personal pods. Please – our system cannot keep up the way things are going now.”

From the steady decline of healthcare workers, to the falling number of food production employees, countless worries are plaguing the country. In response to these concerns, the President spoke to the country on Thursday. “We are aware of all the hardships you, as Americans, are facing in this country today. Know that we are developing a plan to get through this unprecedented time, and come out the other side stronger than ever. God bless America.”

SAPS

Updated on Monday, December 8, 3610 / 1:18pm / US News

Since entering the second wave in October, EDIS3610 cases throughout the US have skyrocketed, reaching heights not seen during the initial onset of the pandemic. With deaths cresting 7 million, the majority occurring for those over 40, EDIS3610 has left tremendous gaps in the workforce that urgently need to be filled. As of 12:43pm today, leading scientists have announced a solution for this seemingly insurmountable issue.

The country’s leading scientists have created a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) machine that they have named the Skills Application Placement Scan (SAPS). This machine is specialized to scan an individual’s brain and determine their greatest academic and/or applied strengths. The SAPS test, to be enacted across the country immediately, will stream youth into the following employment categories: agriculture, construction, education, health care, military, transportation, and manual labour. All students will be taught fundamental literacy and mathematical skills up until the eighth grade, and then be streamed according to SAPS upon entering high school. As a student’s education progresses, the streaming will become more specialized within each field.

Tim Blackworth, a neuroscientist and member of the team who worked to develop SAPS spoke to the press. “We have decided that this was the most effective solution to our problems. With so many kids already in government care and schooling, this will help focus their studies and fast track them into their respective industries.”

Once again, the president spoke on the matter. “I am thrilled to announce this new breakthrough, and am confident that it will remedy many of the ailments we, as a country, have been facing. With your energy and zeal, we are counting on you, the young people of America, to help us build a better, stronger economy.” </small>

Government

My fellow citizens,

For many months our country has been facing the spread of EDIS3610 virus- Elderly Degenerate Immune Syndrome. It has infected and killed a large portion of our middle age and elder citizens. This evening, my thoughts go out to all of you who have lost parents, family and friends to this virus. Though we are still morning the passing of our loved ones, it is our now duty to rebuild this great country. We must all unite and work harder than never before to bring greatness and prosperity back to our beautiful land. As you know, since our elders, and work force were mercilessly killed by this terrible virus, the fate of this country is now placed in your hands. We need you to replace those that we lost and we need you NOW! You must rise from the ashes and make your country proud.

Therefore, it is with great pride that I introduce to you the Skill Application Placement Scan (SAPS)! Thanks to the actions of this government over the past few months, we have put in place the best school system this world has ever seen. With the use of innovative technology and […]

SAPS is a brain scan placement test conducted on students before entering high school. The scan will assess each individual student and place them in the division they are best suited for based on their skills, brain functions and genetic composition. Upon graduation, students shall work immediately in their designated fields. This excessive and strict form of streaming is necessary in order to fill the empty jobs and rebuild our society. Each individual no matter the age has a duty to this country and there shall be no unproductivity nor inefficiency.

We have put in place 9 different essential divisions that need attention. Agriculture, Construction, Education, Health Care, Manual labour, Technology, Transportation and Military. Once students are placed in their respective divisions they will spend the next few years learning in-depth about their sector. By the time they leave high school they will be experts in the field. With the Skill Application Placement Scan, you will no longer have to worry how you will serve your country. Instead, your country, through the use of SAPS, will determine the future best suited for you. It is a marvelous innovation! You owe a great deal to this government and to the committee that worked tirelessly to design and create the Skill Application Placement Scan. </small>